Petunia Reciting a glimpse of her poem 3 minutes after writing it

The blury is transparent from a brocken reflection

Inspired by :Zayn - Pillow Talk

I'm seeing the pain and the pleasure written in two chapters of your right mind. I'm seeing the pain of stripping off my identity and the pleasure of orchestrating the satisfaction which is kindling in between my thighs, I see the beauty of it, I see the disgusting side of it but most importantly I see your side of it.
I feel the pain of sleepless nights with melody in my head, melody which takes me back to the night we agreed into meeting your diction, telling it like its fiction with no intention but an empty contradiction...that was nothing but a twisted mission, you make this whole "baby I love you, baby you are the one" seem different but what you are trying to tell me is the complete opposite and I can read the sings
I know we are going back but forward in your mind, making out and breaking up, talking but maintaining the silence, laughing together and gazing at the lonely hearts beating on each other's chest...
cant we feel our souls drying out, starving for each other's affection, if you cant feel your soul at least feel my heart roar, feel my feet tremble, I'm struggling to walk into the world you are pushing me away from, I'm not afraid of your storms so let me face them
let us agree on one thing, one thing being your spirit longs for my touch, your hands are shaking, awaiting to interlock with mine, your knees are bruised because they are pushing your body, mobilising it towards me yet your mind is holding back your heart is failing
I'm waiting...let us break each other's hearts, let us have biter endings, let us use  a minute, or two, or even three and make each other regret falling in love, let us blur the memories we created, let us put our Brocken hearts on display and capture authentic, false, good, dangerous love...our love

Twinkle twinkle little star

Twinkle twinkle little star,how I wonder what you are, how I wonder what you are

Strong or weak,heart caged or bitter sweet,how I wonder what you are in a world that is tearing you,stripping u of all your cracked mirror identity,how I wonder what you are in a world that is telling you to be an illusion,so superficial you hide your scars and even toned skin.

like a diamond in the sky you want to glow so hard in a world that is not ready to hear your broken voice, how I wonder what you are laying beside that woman with a broken heart that is gathering weapons to break you,how I wonder what you are in that mentally boxed group of women who are constantly telling you that you are not beautiful,wear make up and hide behind it wear hills so you won't feel small,loose your body weight so you could code in because you are so off...

How I wonder what you are,up above the way so high like a diamond in the sky you need to glow you need to thrive you need to soar and be the odd shining diamond on that blue sky...dont try to turn blue so you could blend in,stand out,be the odd one,be the weired one, be that diamond,twinkle twinkle little star

The forever promised but never had

Inspired by Brandy-Piano man

Play me a song of a heartache I promise I can sing every word you whispered into my ears when the stars were layered across the sky and the moon was gazing at us with an unconstrained smile.

We can have the whole world singing about how blue our love was because pink was an understatement, remember when you told me my smile is so different from the ones your eyes have witnessed before,remember how our hands locked and fit perfectly as you told me im the one,the only one. Baby remember when you told me "show me all your scars because u have reached your final destination and u need to let it all go so i can cash in" remember how I looked at the view from your window as I told you that I am over Tom,Hendry,thabang,zwelithini and the rest...i lied.

 I had them on my head everytime u held me because I knew you were about to be the adding number on that list of broken forevers.  I had them in my mind when u told me you want to wife me coz those words were nothing new. Play me a song of love lost and I will remember all the promises you made

A defined moment

Inspired by: Sia_im alive

Moving in the fast lane with a mouth tearing smile and a satisfied heart. One day your world will stop and your voice will be silenced,the world will cause you to swallow your words while your soul is blazzing from the inside. That time will be a period,not a moment like the one u used to to tell her you love her,that period will cause your hands to shake and your feet to tremble,your mind will get u dizzy while at work trying to figure out what exactly is going on,you will lay silently on your back in a huge room trying to find the tiny bits of peace left behind those tearing walls. On that silent moment,you will remember her,not her smile or the way her perfume smelled every time she held you. That moment will lead you back to the night she cried her eyes to blood with hopes that she can hold the door to stop you from walking away,that moment will remind you of how heavy her heart pounded against her chest when you told her you don't feel the same way about her anymore. You might choose to call it karma or God fighting for her but those will be the only choices you will have since escaping reality wont be one of them. You will define that period which was a result of a moment where you lied to her,a moment of resentment,Brocken hearts,wounded souls and silenced hopes,you will define that moment as a moment of a trying heart

The path she should not cross

Inspired by : Adele-Send my love to your new lover

Don't take away her sunrise because she might not be brave enough to face the storm,like I did. Please don't make her question the authenticity of your love like I did because she might not believe in true love anymore. Remember when you touched me from neck down while using your words to defeat me from neck up? Don't separate these two parts in her, the pieces might never come back together again. May she not face that time when blood is frozen on her neck and yet celebrated, given the name" love bite" I couldn't understand the logic on that yet I survived but she might bleed to death from it. Don't make her feel like a super woman for walking hands locked with you on a rainy night, don't allow her to be so vulnerable that you end up paying attention to her imperfections. May she not stretch her wings for you only to get treatment rejected by slaves, May she not sacrifice herself by putting her crown on the table for dinner when you fail to man up and respect her. May she be smart enough to protect the Goddess in her because she might not survive your storms like I did. May she not cross the path of being the woman you cheat on with a woman like her, I survived it because I understood my position and the powervof my dignity, she might confuse the two and fight for you like I never did. May she not cross the path she made me cross and May she not cross the path she is heading to with you.

It was too deep

Inspired by: Bruno Mars- Gorilla

Into my mind i let you in, into my my heart you pressed in,into my young innocent soul you penetrated. you got in so deep u made me scream you name to a deaf universe,you got in so deep my words were shuttered and all i cold do was scream,you got in so deep and by the time you entered my life, you were done with me.
you stripped me off my identity and all i wanted to be identified as was ; yours,you penetrated in my life so deep you got me cumin,cumin and coming,begging for more,you got me crawling after the tiny bits of your pretentious love.
 you got me on my knees blowing off my pride and dignity because you entered too deep. You had me thinking that running after your attention,starving for the words"i love you"while dying of dehydration because all i was starving for was your affection,my love.
you took a small glimpse at my blood crying eyes and you decided to make me feel like it was all worth it, you made me think running after a Man who wont love me is worth it,you made me think that an orgasm was worth a gradually breaking heart,wondering on a deserted island yet holding the pride of the tinny bits of pretentious  love received from you.
you got me running after my friends trying to show them that he loves me,why cant you understand,they looked at me like a wounded mind with a dying soul and broken confidence.you got in so deep i failed to recognize the stains you had and i allowed you to put me so close i couldn't see them no more.
you got in so deep coz i allowed you,you got in and you stretched your freedom while tearing my heart because it couldn't maintain the capacity. i allowed you to toy with my emotions while sprinkling your love only to make me come running for more. you got in so deep you made me realize that it is not love when your mind,heart and spirit are not in harmony