It was too deep

Inspired by: Bruno Mars- Gorilla

Into my mind i let you in, into my my heart you pressed in,into my young innocent soul you penetrated. you got in so deep u made me scream you name to a deaf universe,you got in so deep my words were shuttered and all i cold do was scream,you got in so deep and by the time you entered my life, you were done with me.
you stripped me off my identity and all i wanted to be identified as was ; yours,you penetrated in my life so deep you got me cumin,cumin and coming,begging for more,you got me crawling after the tiny bits of your pretentious love.
 you got me on my knees blowing off my pride and dignity because you entered too deep. You had me thinking that running after your attention,starving for the words"i love you"while dying of dehydration because all i was starving for was your affection,my love.
you took a small glimpse at my blood crying eyes and you decided to make me feel like it was all worth it, you made me think running after a Man who wont love me is worth it,you made me think that an orgasm was worth a gradually breaking heart,wondering on a deserted island yet holding the pride of the tinny bits of pretentious  love received from you.
you got me running after my friends trying to show them that he loves me,why cant you understand,they looked at me like a wounded mind with a dying soul and broken confidence.you got in so deep i failed to recognize the stains you had and i allowed you to put me so close i couldn't see them no more.
you got in so deep coz i allowed you,you got in and you stretched your freedom while tearing my heart because it couldn't maintain the capacity. i allowed you to toy with my emotions while sprinkling your love only to make me come running for more. you got in so deep you made me realize that it is not love when your mind,heart and spirit are not in harmony

I was told hence i became

inspired by: Jessie j- be true to who you are

I lack confidence, I lack  confidence because I was told I couldn't fly, I lack confidence because  I was told that the only place I will find confidence and be heard was in my own silence.

I lack confidence because the people I confided in, told me I couldn't do it.
They told me I was too much of everything, too loud, too quite, too ambitious, too ugly.
I was told that ;you  have big thighs, big bum, big eyes, a big nose but I was never told I had big dreams.

I wasn't told that my wings were strong enough to help me fly. I lack confidence because I allowed myself to lack confidence, I allowed myself to respond to the voices whispered in my big ears, I allowed myself to take time and listen,

I allowed myself to use my slowly wounded mind to analyse what was said to me.
I lacked confidence because my mind allowed the words to sink deep till I lost the tiny bits of the woman in me.

I will gain confidence coz I allow myself to swore, to thrive, to shut down the heart stabbing words pointed at me, I will gain confidence because I understand that  my identity is not driven by human perception, I will gain confidence because my mind allows me to filter the Brocken words from souls torn apart, destructed by the confusion of the universe in the fast lane. It is trough understanding my identity, my character, my personality and my voice. I gained confidence.

The dead street

Inspired by Leona Lewis;Better in time

Long nights, Heart caged, soul wounded, mind bruised, eyes racing along the tiny bits of marks attached to the wall. 

Body failing you with hands feeling helpless as you wonder ; when will the crying end. when will the walls of disappointment come crashing down, setting my caged heart free.

you travelled on the road lead travelled, now you are solemnly  crawling around on a dead street, looking for help and peace.  It was on that dead street where the tiny pieces of your broken heart fell. It was on that dead street where your wounded soul bled. It was on that dead street where you lost your mind and shuttered your hopes.  The road less travelled felt like a new experience yet all it did was finish the tiny bits of pieces your body could contain.

Now you are clouded with regret,wishing that someone had told you not to walk on that dead street, you wish someone warned you not to walk on that street which did not only tear you down but ripped your soul apart.  you wish someone told you that you will break your own heart in the end. You wish someone would've reached out to your slowly going deaf ears and told you to stop.  The dead street tore you apart and changed the way you see and define love,and most importantly... it changed the way you see you. 

The dead street couldn't care to caress your bleeding feet which were paddling on the surface while leaving prints of broken dreams.  You ended up being comfortable walking on the street and you felt that it was okay to try and find peace on a dead street.  The dead street gave you a heart felt treasure, that treasure was a naked lesson, the lesson was that you cannot find  life and vibe on a dead street