Twinkle twinkle little star

Twinkle twinkle little star,how I wonder what you are, how I wonder what you are

Strong or weak,heart caged or bitter sweet,how I wonder what you are in a world that is tearing you,stripping u of all your cracked mirror identity,how I wonder what you are in a world that is telling you to be an illusion,so superficial you hide your scars and even toned skin.

like a diamond in the sky you want to glow so hard in a world that is not ready to hear your broken voice, how I wonder what you are laying beside that woman with a broken heart that is gathering weapons to break you,how I wonder what you are in that mentally boxed group of women who are constantly telling you that you are not beautiful,wear make up and hide behind it wear hills so you won't feel small,loose your body weight so you could code in because you are so off...

How I wonder what you are,up above the way so high like a diamond in the sky you need to glow you need to thrive you need to soar and be the odd shining diamond on that blue sky...dont try to turn blue so you could blend in,stand out,be the odd one,be the weired one, be that diamond,twinkle twinkle little star

The forever promised but never had

Inspired by Brandy-Piano man

Play me a song of a heartache I promise I can sing every word you whispered into my ears when the stars were layered across the sky and the moon was gazing at us with an unconstrained smile.

We can have the whole world singing about how blue our love was because pink was an understatement, remember when you told me my smile is so different from the ones your eyes have witnessed before,remember how our hands locked and fit perfectly as you told me im the one,the only one. Baby remember when you told me "show me all your scars because u have reached your final destination and u need to let it all go so i can cash in" remember how I looked at the view from your window as I told you that I am over Tom,Hendry,thabang,zwelithini and the rest...i lied.

 I had them on my head everytime u held me because I knew you were about to be the adding number on that list of broken forevers.  I had them in my mind when u told me you want to wife me coz those words were nothing new. Play me a song of love lost and I will remember all the promises you made

A defined moment

Inspired by: Sia_im alive

Moving in the fast lane with a mouth tearing smile and a satisfied heart. One day your world will stop and your voice will be silenced,the world will cause you to swallow your words while your soul is blazzing from the inside. That time will be a period,not a moment like the one u used to to tell her you love her,that period will cause your hands to shake and your feet to tremble,your mind will get u dizzy while at work trying to figure out what exactly is going on,you will lay silently on your back in a huge room trying to find the tiny bits of peace left behind those tearing walls. On that silent moment,you will remember her,not her smile or the way her perfume smelled every time she held you. That moment will lead you back to the night she cried her eyes to blood with hopes that she can hold the door to stop you from walking away,that moment will remind you of how heavy her heart pounded against her chest when you told her you don't feel the same way about her anymore. You might choose to call it karma or God fighting for her but those will be the only choices you will have since escaping reality wont be one of them. You will define that period which was a result of a moment where you lied to her,a moment of resentment,Brocken hearts,wounded souls and silenced hopes,you will define that moment as a moment of a trying heart

The path she should not cross

Inspired by : Adele-Send my love to your new lover

Don't take away her sunrise because she might not be brave enough to face the storm,like I did. Please don't make her question the authenticity of your love like I did because she might not believe in true love anymore. Remember when you touched me from neck down while using your words to defeat me from neck up? Don't separate these two parts in her, the pieces might never come back together again. May she not face that time when blood is frozen on her neck and yet celebrated, given the name" love bite" I couldn't understand the logic on that yet I survived but she might bleed to death from it. Don't make her feel like a super woman for walking hands locked with you on a rainy night, don't allow her to be so vulnerable that you end up paying attention to her imperfections. May she not stretch her wings for you only to get treatment rejected by slaves, May she not sacrifice herself by putting her crown on the table for dinner when you fail to man up and respect her. May she be smart enough to protect the Goddess in her because she might not survive your storms like I did. May she not cross the path of being the woman you cheat on with a woman like her, I survived it because I understood my position and the powervof my dignity, she might confuse the two and fight for you like I never did. May she not cross the path she made me cross and May she not cross the path she is heading to with you.

It was too deep

Inspired by: Bruno Mars- Gorilla

Into my mind i let you in, into my my heart you pressed in,into my young innocent soul you penetrated. you got in so deep u made me scream you name to a deaf universe,you got in so deep my words were shuttered and all i cold do was scream,you got in so deep and by the time you entered my life, you were done with me.
you stripped me off my identity and all i wanted to be identified as was ; yours,you penetrated in my life so deep you got me cumin,cumin and coming,begging for more,you got me crawling after the tiny bits of your pretentious love.
 you got me on my knees blowing off my pride and dignity because you entered too deep. You had me thinking that running after your attention,starving for the words"i love you"while dying of dehydration because all i was starving for was your affection,my love.
you took a small glimpse at my blood crying eyes and you decided to make me feel like it was all worth it, you made me think running after a Man who wont love me is worth it,you made me think that an orgasm was worth a gradually breaking heart,wondering on a deserted island yet holding the pride of the tinny bits of pretentious  love received from you.
you got me running after my friends trying to show them that he loves me,why cant you understand,they looked at me like a wounded mind with a dying soul and broken confidence.you got in so deep i failed to recognize the stains you had and i allowed you to put me so close i couldn't see them no more.
you got in so deep coz i allowed you,you got in and you stretched your freedom while tearing my heart because it couldn't maintain the capacity. i allowed you to toy with my emotions while sprinkling your love only to make me come running for more. you got in so deep you made me realize that it is not love when your mind,heart and spirit are not in harmony

I was told hence i became

inspired by: Jessie j- be true to who you are

I lack confidence, I lack  confidence because I was told I couldn't fly, I lack confidence because  I was told that the only place I will find confidence and be heard was in my own silence.

I lack confidence because the people I confided in, told me I couldn't do it.
They told me I was too much of everything, too loud, too quite, too ambitious, too ugly.
I was told that ;you  have big thighs, big bum, big eyes, a big nose but I was never told I had big dreams.

I wasn't told that my wings were strong enough to help me fly. I lack confidence because I allowed myself to lack confidence, I allowed myself to respond to the voices whispered in my big ears, I allowed myself to take time and listen,

I allowed myself to use my slowly wounded mind to analyse what was said to me.
I lacked confidence because my mind allowed the words to sink deep till I lost the tiny bits of the woman in me.

I will gain confidence coz I allow myself to swore, to thrive, to shut down the heart stabbing words pointed at me, I will gain confidence because I understand that  my identity is not driven by human perception, I will gain confidence because my mind allows me to filter the Brocken words from souls torn apart, destructed by the confusion of the universe in the fast lane. It is trough understanding my identity, my character, my personality and my voice. I gained confidence.

The dead street

Inspired by Leona Lewis;Better in time

Long nights, Heart caged, soul wounded, mind bruised, eyes racing along the tiny bits of marks attached to the wall. 

Body failing you with hands feeling helpless as you wonder ; when will the crying end. when will the walls of disappointment come crashing down, setting my caged heart free.

you travelled on the road lead travelled, now you are solemnly  crawling around on a dead street, looking for help and peace.  It was on that dead street where the tiny pieces of your broken heart fell. It was on that dead street where your wounded soul bled. It was on that dead street where you lost your mind and shuttered your hopes.  The road less travelled felt like a new experience yet all it did was finish the tiny bits of pieces your body could contain.

Now you are clouded with regret,wishing that someone had told you not to walk on that dead street, you wish someone warned you not to walk on that street which did not only tear you down but ripped your soul apart.  you wish someone told you that you will break your own heart in the end. You wish someone would've reached out to your slowly going deaf ears and told you to stop.  The dead street tore you apart and changed the way you see and define love,and most importantly... it changed the way you see you. 

The dead street couldn't care to caress your bleeding feet which were paddling on the surface while leaving prints of broken dreams.  You ended up being comfortable walking on the street and you felt that it was okay to try and find peace on a dead street.  The dead street gave you a heart felt treasure, that treasure was a naked lesson, the lesson was that you cannot find  life and vibe on a dead street